Arbitrary Picture Week

The boys at three weeks old. Why three weeks? Because waiting for the one month mark just made too much sense.

Jack and Henry on the couch:

The boys have really started to wake up and study their surroundings. We got them both to sleep in the crib overnight for the first time last night, which I was really excited about. As much as I enjoy cuddling them, it sure is more comfortable to sleep in my own bed again.

Jack seems to occasionally get bored (fussy for no discernible reason, doesn't seem to be G.I. discomfort). We started putting him down on the activity mat sometimes, even though he really can't do much with it yet. He seems to enjoy the change of scenery and looking at the patterns (he also appears to study the patterns on some of our more brightly colored clothes).

Jack on the activity mat:

On one occasion when Jack was fussing and we couldn't determine the cause, I brought him to the kitchen table with me so I could at least stuff a little food in my face with one hand. A ray of sunlight was coming through the curtain and as Jack leaned back, it fell across his eyes. Indignant, he jerked out of the light. He then proceeded to lean back into it again, and seemed to attempt to grab the light. That having failed to produce any interesting results, he leaned into it again, and appeared to try to lick the light. I try not to read too much into the actions of this kid, but he is intriguing to observe.

Jack holding Dad's hand (that's yellow paint on Steve's shirt, not baby bodily fluids, just for the record):

Three week family portrait, me with Henry, Steve with Jack (who absolutely refused to open his eyes for pictures this time):

Jack on Steve's lap, Henry on mine:

So far, Henry is not a morning person. His periods of wakefulness seem to happen more in the evening.

When we feed Henry, he always clasps his hands together in a pose that looks like he's thanking the lord that we're finally feeding him:

I've tried to get Henry smiling in pictures, but he has eluded me thus far.

Sticking tongue out right after a smile I missed:

Glaring at my continued picture taking:

Just missed it, darn it!

I'll catch that smile eventually. In the meantime...

Henry holding my hand:

Me playing with Henry's tiny feet:

Henry and Jack passed out in their twin pillow after Steve fed them:

First Days at Home

I knew that no amount of reading or classes could really prepare us for the realities we'd face as parents of newborn twins. But we've been pretty lucky so far; the boys are really sweet little babies.

We've tried many overnight care arrangements... from taking shifts, each taking one boy for the night, and sleeping in various locations around the house, but what seems to work best so far has been me on a mattress on the floor in their room, snuggled up with both boys (I did a bunch of reading on safe co-sleeping to be sure I'm not putting them at risk). In that arrangement, they'll sleep for 3-4 hours at a time. Steve sleeps in our nearby bedroom with the door open so I can call for reinforcement if needed but he won't be woken up by every little noise they make. He gets up when he hears them stirring to help with feeding, changing and getting us all back to bed. I seem to be able to comfort the boys without fully waking up, which is kinda creepy but definitely useful. I won't say we aren't exhausted, but we're functional... so, good enough.

It occurs to me roughly a dozen times a day how much easier things would be if we only had one of them, but at the same time I really can't imagine not having them both.

Without further ado, a collection of pictures from the boys' first week at home...

Pictures Together

First family portrait (me with Jack the incurable ham, Steve with a sleepy Henry):

The boys cuddle (or try to eat each others' faces - Henry on left, Jack on right):

Jack and Henry sleeping in Steve's lap:

A Closer Look at the Boys

Henry seems somewhat horrified (contemplating his mortality perhaps?) after his first bathing experience:

Henry, chillin':

Henry (so far) is the more relaxed of the two. He eats well, is fairly easily consoled, sleeps better and for longer periods, likes to be held but doesn't demand it, and is generally just more easy going. He has a crooked little smile that we mostly get to see when he's dreaming.

I admit I didn't bond immediately with the boys given the difficulty with pain I was having after delivery, but I recall a specific moment when I was holding Henry a few days after they were born when I was suddenly overcome with emotion and just sat there, tears streaming down my face as I studied the amazing, miniature person in my arms. I love it when either (or both) of the boys is curled up beside me. They're just incredible little guys. I guess I don't completely lack maternal instincts as I'd feared.

Jack, with his narrow features, looking more like a tiny little boy than a baby:

Jack, wary:

Jack is active, very strong for a newborn (he already lifts his head and tries to fling himself from our arms), more challenging to feed and console, and expressive. He makes a variety of different soft sounds and sometimes seems to respond to being talked to. He also makes little sounds when he's being fed that my mom calls his "bottle song." He mimics some facial expressions, like sticking out his tongue (which he once did three times in a row in response to me doing it so I'm pretty confident it's not just my imagination) and smiling. I feel I can see the wheels turning in his tiny little head. 

Jack's digestive system seems a bit less developed than Henry's, leading to more difficulty in feeding and more discomfort for him, resulting in the saddest little wails and scrunched-face flailing. We've been trying different things with his food and seeing some improvement... we'll keep at it to find what works best for him. Jack also suffers from what I saw referred to online as "insistently cuddly infant syndrome," in that he likes to be in constant physical contact with another person. 

Precious One-on-One Time

Me and Jack:

Steve and Henry:

Steve and Jack:

Steve making faces with Henry:

Twin Life

I tandem bottle feed the boys in the middle of the night (while largely asleep myself, an extra level of difficulty... I don't think I realized Steve was taking this picture):

The boys insist on both being in physical contact with me while I work on my e-mail:

The boys make sure Steve never has to watch TV alone:

When they both need to be held at once and mom was sleeping:

Unintentional Yellow Shirt Day for Henry, me and Jack (they already look embarrassed by their mom... as they probably should be):

Well, we all survived week one. A good precedent. 

Sons' Arrival

On Friday August 5th, 2016, after 37 weeks and 2 days of marinating, at 12:45 pm, our son Jack Elwood (Baby "A") was born. His brother Henry Reuben (Baby "B") followed him at 1:12 pm. Jack was 5 lb 10 oz and 18.5 inches long. Henry was 5 lbs 8 oz and 19.25 inches long.

My account of the birth follows for those who are interested in that sort of thing. I recommend skimming for pictures and skipping further reading if you're squeamish or just want to avoid TMI.

I went in for a routine non-stress test (where the babies' heart rates and my uterine contractions were monitored) and had some labwork done on the afternoon of Monday, August 1st. My OB sent me (after I, in a state of mild panic, retrieved Steve from work) over to the maternity center for more testing related to my rising blood pressure and abnormal bloodwork related to my liver (possible warning signs of preeclampsia). The OB on call ultimately decided to release me in time to have dinner with visiting relatives. Given that adventure, I shouldn't have been surprised if I also needed additional testing after my Wednesday, August 3rd routine non-stress test and growth ultrasound. I was, however, blindsided when my OB not only sent us to the maternity center but instructed us to check in; I was at risk of becoming preeclamptic and those babies needed to come out soon.

We got checked in to the Sutter Maternity and Surgery Center in Santa Cruz on August 3rd in the early evening. I was having contractions but was not in labor. Overnight on the 3rd, the boys and I were monitored. The growth ultrasound earlier that day had shown that Henry (who in all previous scans had been head-down and ready for delivery like his brother) was now transverse. He later shifted into a breech position. The OB on call was leaning c-section and I spent a long night being monitored and coming to terms with that outcome. I had of course known it was a possibility but I was really hoping for a vaginal delivery to shorten my recovery time and enable me to help more with the new arrivals. I was scared at the prospect of surgery and unable to sleep.

As the sun rose on the 4th, I felt I had finally resigned myself to the c-section. I was still scared, but relatively calm. Then my OB (Dr. B), who I absolutely adore, burst excitedly into the room, followed by the new OB on call (Dr. O) and a couple nurses. In her wonderful no-nonsense way, Dr. B said the babies needed to come out, but the staff was ready and prepared to do a breech extraction on Henry if necessary and it was time to get the ball rolling to try to get me the vaginal delivery I was seeking. I was started on Pitocin to induce labor at 10 am on the 4th.

Me on Pitocin (doesn't it look like I'm having fun?):

The Pitocin dose was slowly stepped up during the day and night on the 4th. In the middle of the night, Dr. O manually broke Jack's amniotic sack to speed things along (Dr. O was incredibly gracious about my panicked response to her telling me what she was about to do... and oh boy was it painful). With the potential for a breech extraction, an epidural was pretty much mandatory, but my goal was to put it off as long as possible to prevent labor from stalling. Once the IV hit 22 milliunits (they had to keep overriding the 20 milliunit cap on the drip - I guess I needed a little extra oomph to get where we needed to go), in the early morning hours of the 5th, I asked for the epidural, and enjoyed the numbing sensation as it crept up my legs; never mind the contractions, it was the first time in months that my legs, feet and joints didn't hurt.

I try to put on my "I am brave and calm" face... impressive, right?:

Steve can still make me laugh (which was a mixed blessing since it hurt to do so):

Things were a bit of a blur but, once I was fully dilated, I was wheeled into the operating room (a precaution in case an emergency c-section was needed). In a stroke of good fortune, Dr. B happened to now be on call and she assembled the team to do the delivery herself. A couple nurses and Dr. O stayed on after their shifts ended to assist. A lot of the nurses we worked with seemed to have taken a shine to me and Steve, and I suspect attempted vaginal twin births are probably somewhat interesting in their relative rarity.

Dr. B had the anesthesiologist turn down my epidural drip so that I could feel to push more effectively; I was going to need to work hard to get both boys out. I tried my best to follow the instructions given by the doctors and nurses to improve my technique as things went along. The pain was... let's just say "unreal." Steve gently stroked my hair and rubbed my shoulders. After pushing for an hour, Jack was out.

Steve cut Jack's cord, Jack got cleaned up and handed to Steve, and I was able to steal a glance at them. That memory of Steve holding his firstborn son for the very first time is a real bright spot for me in an otherwise difficult (to say the least) experience.

During this time, the nurses busily pushed on my stomach, successfully assisting Henry in turning head down to begin his exit. Everything was done calmly and smoothly; clearly there had been some discussion ahead of time about everybody's role.

Seeing that my strength was failing, Dr. B had the tools prepared to assist Henry. With great difficulty (I was absolutely beyond spent), I managed over the next half hour to push him far enough for Dr. B to perform a vacuum extraction. His heart rate was dipping a bit, but Dr. B managed to swiftly get him out with the only sign of the procedure being a barely visible bruise on his head which healed quickly. While holding Jack in one arm, Steve cut Henry's cord, officially beginning his new reality of juggling two kids at a time.

Dr. B sewed up my second degree tear with what looked to me to be a fishhook (which was a fun sensation). When I asked her how many stitches she'd done, she said "oh, just the one thread." Doctor humor. She eventually admitted it had been 10 stitches total.

I was, I think, in shock as I was wheeled back to my thankfully private room. Steve carried Jack and Henry was wheeled in by the nurses as I was in no condition to hold him.

Steve, still in OR scrubs, holding brand-new Jack:

Newborn Henry contemplates his existence:

 Newborn Jack looks... somewhat disapproving? Hard to say:

The following days were a haze. Steve learned how to care for the boys from the wonderful nurses who looked after us all while I was held for observation (due to residual high blood pressure, that continuing abnormal liver, and pain) over the following four days. We were so lucky; the boys' health was perfect. Not even jaundiced. They were ready for discharge before I was.

Steve sleeping with Henry in our room at the maternity center:

Me, making my best attempt at a smile, Henry snuggled up against me and Jack already working his hands free of his blanket:

I felt at the same time like a tremendous weight had been lifted (which it certainly had - by my one week postpartum checkup I'd lost 23 of the 37 lbs I'd gained during the pregnancy, and at two weeks I'm now within 10 lbs of my pre-pregnancy weight) and that in its place had settled a great deal of pain and soreness. The back pain I was left with is something I was completely unprepared for, and has been really difficult to recover from. I'm slowly doing better, but it's still an everyday challenge. I am grateful, however, that the boys are robust; hopefully I will be again someday soon.

Jack ready for his first car ride, home from the hospital:

Henry seems uninterested in the whole process:

And then, blurry chaos of the previous week in the hospital behind us, we headed home as a family for the very first time.

Family Visitors Ahead of Family Expansion

On Sunday we were lucky enough to have Steve's sister Natalie, her family, and nephew Perry pass through Santa Cruz on their way home from a family event in Oregon (which Steve and I did not attend for reasons I believe are fairly self-evident). We had breakfast together, they got the house tour, then were able to hang out a little bit before having to hit the road again. It was fantastic to see everyone and I completely forgot to take any pictures. Oops.

Yesterday, returning from that same Oregon trip, Steve's brother Lee and family spent the day at the boardwalk then met us on the wharf for dinner. We got to try out the newest restaurant on the wharf (Splash, opened by some of the same people who run our beloved local spot, 515) and found it to be a great place for some seafood and fantastic ocean views. Having been released from the strict gestational diabetes diet I'd had to follow, I was able to have some lovely house-made lemonade and limeade. Tasted so fantastic. Fruit juice and soda have been consistently among my few cravings during this pregnancy, and it was depressing not being able to indulge. Anyway...

Lee's wife Staci actually remembers to take pictures, so here's one she posted to Facebook that I swiped (left-to-right: Libby, Lee, Steve, a low-hovering dirigible of some kind, Staci, Brooke, Sage):

Today the family visited Steve at work and then me at home for the house tour. 

It was a truly lovely distraction to have family stop by and visit, and we're glad it worked out.